TOP TEN (THERES MORE BUT THESE RANK AS THE TOPS)
1. SCOTCH TAPE IS NOT PACKING TAPE
2. CEREAL BOXES ARE NOT PACKING BOXES ( NOT EVEN IF YOU WRITE PLEASE DONT CRUSH ON IT)
3. TUPPERWARE CONTAINERS ARE NOT STURDY ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH OUR MACHINERY SO THOSE COOKIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS ARNT SAFE IN GLADWARE
4. IF IT HAS A POINT TO IT AND COULD SPEAR THROUGH FLESH IT WILL SPEAR THROUGH PACKING TAPE AND THEN MY FLESH. PLEASE APPLY A CORK TO THE TIP OR MANY LAYERS OF PADDING PLEASE
5. IF IT WEIGHS MORE THAN, SAY, A HUMAN BEING ( I.E. 50 GRAPEFRUITS FROM FLORDIA) DO NOT PACK IN A COPY PAPER BOX WITH SCOTCH TAPE. THIS REQUIRES A LARGE TUPPERWARE CONTAINER WITH BUBBLE WRAP INSIDE AND HEAVY WRITTEN ON IT. OTHERWISE, GRAPEFRUIT JUICE WILL ARRIVE AT THEIR DOOR
6. IF YOU ARE MAILING OUT A LOT OF PAPERS THAT END UP AMOUNTING TO THE SIZE OF A BOOK PLEASE USE A BOX NOT AN ENVELOPE. JUST LIKE FAT PEOPLE TRYING TO FIT IN SKINNY JEANS>> SEAMS DO BUST. AS A MATTER OF FACT, DONT SEND ANYTHING FAT IN SOMETHING SKINNY PLEASE!!!!!!
7. PIZZA BOXES ARE NOT PACKING BOXES. ESPECIALLY OILY USED PIZZA BOXES (COME ON NOW, REALLY)
8. IF YOU OR YOUR FAMILY CAN'T READ YOUR HANDWRITING NEITHER WILL OUR COMPUTERS. WRITE LEGIBLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. IF YOUR SHIPPING OUT A DARK COLORED BOX DONT WRITE THE ADDRESS IN DARK INK WRITE IT IN WHITE, DONT HAVE WHITE INK YOU SAY, TRY WRITING IT ON A PIECE OF CLEAN WHITE NOTEBOOK PAPER AND TAPING WITH PACKING TAPE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE BOX.
10. IF YOU THINK IT COULD BREAK, WRITING FRAGILE ON IT DOESNT PREVENT BREAKING, PROPER PACKING DOES WITH SUCH INVENTIONS AS BUBBLE WRAP AND/OR LOTS OF CRUMPLED NEWSPAPERS, ETC.
IT MAY BE OUR JOB TO GET YOUR PACKAGE TO ITS DESTINATION ON TIME AND IN THE CONDITION IT WAS GIVEN TO US IN BUT COME ON PEOPLE WERE NOT GENIES IN BOTTLES WIGGLING OUR NOSES TO GET YOUR PACKAGES THERE. WE ARE PEOPLE WORKING ON MILLION DOLLAR PIECES OF MACHINERY THAT ARE SORTING MAIL BY THE THOUSANDS PER MINUTE. TRY TO USE COMMON SENSE ABOUT PACKING TO AVOID DELAYS DUE TO REWRAPPING OR BREAKAGES DUE TO IMPROPER PACKING. WE'RE ALSO NOT YOUR PERSONAL SECRETARIES SO... SINCE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SEND BOXES ANY WAY BUT AT THE WINDOW NOW, PLEASE ASK FOR TAPE IF YOU NEED IT OR FOR HELP PACKING YOUR STUFF IN THE APPROPRIATE BOX/ENVELOPE/ CONTAINER WE WILL BE GLAD TO ASSIST YOU. IF YOU DO NOT ASK WE DONT KNOW YOU NEED HELP AND IF YOU JUST THINK IT'S STUPID TO ASK THEN WE THINK... WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK WE THINK...
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS AND PASSES IT ON TO THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A LESSON IN PROPER PACKING OR A LAUGH.
1. SCOTCH TAPE IS NOT PACKING TAPE
2. CEREAL BOXES ARE NOT PACKING BOXES ( NOT EVEN IF YOU WRITE PLEASE DONT CRUSH ON IT)
3. TUPPERWARE CONTAINERS ARE NOT STURDY ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH OUR MACHINERY SO THOSE COOKIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS ARNT SAFE IN GLADWARE
4. IF IT HAS A POINT TO IT AND COULD SPEAR THROUGH FLESH IT WILL SPEAR THROUGH PACKING TAPE AND THEN MY FLESH. PLEASE APPLY A CORK TO THE TIP OR MANY LAYERS OF PADDING PLEASE
5. IF IT WEIGHS MORE THAN, SAY, A HUMAN BEING ( I.E. 50 GRAPEFRUITS FROM FLORDIA) DO NOT PACK IN A COPY PAPER BOX WITH SCOTCH TAPE. THIS REQUIRES A LARGE TUPPERWARE CONTAINER WITH BUBBLE WRAP INSIDE AND HEAVY WRITTEN ON IT. OTHERWISE, GRAPEFRUIT JUICE WILL ARRIVE AT THEIR DOOR
6. IF YOU ARE MAILING OUT A LOT OF PAPERS THAT END UP AMOUNTING TO THE SIZE OF A BOOK PLEASE USE A BOX NOT AN ENVELOPE. JUST LIKE FAT PEOPLE TRYING TO FIT IN SKINNY JEANS>> SEAMS DO BUST. AS A MATTER OF FACT, DONT SEND ANYTHING FAT IN SOMETHING SKINNY PLEASE!!!!!!
7. PIZZA BOXES ARE NOT PACKING BOXES. ESPECIALLY OILY USED PIZZA BOXES (COME ON NOW, REALLY)
8. IF YOU OR YOUR FAMILY CAN'T READ YOUR HANDWRITING NEITHER WILL OUR COMPUTERS. WRITE LEGIBLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. IF YOUR SHIPPING OUT A DARK COLORED BOX DONT WRITE THE ADDRESS IN DARK INK WRITE IT IN WHITE, DONT HAVE WHITE INK YOU SAY, TRY WRITING IT ON A PIECE OF CLEAN WHITE NOTEBOOK PAPER AND TAPING WITH PACKING TAPE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE BOX.
10. IF YOU THINK IT COULD BREAK, WRITING FRAGILE ON IT DOESNT PREVENT BREAKING, PROPER PACKING DOES WITH SUCH INVENTIONS AS BUBBLE WRAP AND/OR LOTS OF CRUMPLED NEWSPAPERS, ETC.
IT MAY BE OUR JOB TO GET YOUR PACKAGE TO ITS DESTINATION ON TIME AND IN THE CONDITION IT WAS GIVEN TO US IN BUT COME ON PEOPLE WERE NOT GENIES IN BOTTLES WIGGLING OUR NOSES TO GET YOUR PACKAGES THERE. WE ARE PEOPLE WORKING ON MILLION DOLLAR PIECES OF MACHINERY THAT ARE SORTING MAIL BY THE THOUSANDS PER MINUTE. TRY TO USE COMMON SENSE ABOUT PACKING TO AVOID DELAYS DUE TO REWRAPPING OR BREAKAGES DUE TO IMPROPER PACKING. WE'RE ALSO NOT YOUR PERSONAL SECRETARIES SO... SINCE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SEND BOXES ANY WAY BUT AT THE WINDOW NOW, PLEASE ASK FOR TAPE IF YOU NEED IT OR FOR HELP PACKING YOUR STUFF IN THE APPROPRIATE BOX/ENVELOPE/ CONTAINER WE WILL BE GLAD TO ASSIST YOU. IF YOU DO NOT ASK WE DONT KNOW YOU NEED HELP AND IF YOU JUST THINK IT'S STUPID TO ASK THEN WE THINK... WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK WE THINK...
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS AND PASSES IT ON TO THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A LESSON IN PROPER PACKING OR A LAUGH.